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Risk Everyday with Kristy Arnett

This show is for RISK TAKERS and DREAM MAKERS. Former professional poker player Kristy Arnett has made it her life's mission to teach people to take calculated risks. She is a now a podcaster, YouTuber and author of the upcoming book, "The Biggest Gamble: A memoir about Love & Risk." What’s between what we say we want and what we have is fear. The way we move past fear is by taking risks. Risk everyday and watch your life transform. Join the movement #riskeveryday
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Now displaying: October, 2017
Oct 30, 2017

I have been asking myself WTF am I doing with my life a lot lately. I always say that it is about the question and not necessarily the answer. It’s about having the question empower us to choose what we want to create with our lives. By asking these questions we really get to know what is important and what we want to create.

As I write my WTF Am I Doing With My Life book, I have been going through the process of how to choose what we want. I also keep asking myself why do I keep having to go through this process and answer this question. Just as I am finishing up my first draft, Bri Seeley pops back into my life and messages me about her new book Permission to Leap which will be released on November 14th.

Bri and I recorded a podcast last year about how to co-create with the universe. Bri is a coach, author, speaker, blogger, and podcaster who helps women turn their inner visions into outer realities. Today, we talk about the concepts in Bri’s book and how to take a look at what you want in life. Bri talks about how she came up against her own blocks and had to give herself permission to leap along with a lot of other great insights. 

 

You can find Bri here:

Bri Seeley

Bri Seeley facebook

Bri Seeley YouTube

@BriSeeley Twitter

Bri Seeley Instagram

Bri Seeley LinkedIn

Permission to Leap Podcast

Permission to Leap

 

Show Notes

[06:34] Kristy acknowledges Bri for who she is and the actions and risks she takes and how she makes a difference to her audience.
[07:31] How sometimes Bri feels like what she is doing is never enough, but that's a byproduct of being a high achieving person. 

[08:32] Bri decided to change her trajectory and switch to a 7-figure business. Realignment also has to happen.
[10:02] Everything that was working last year, stopped working this year. Bri decided to write her book and see where it goes from there.

[12:44] Being sure that you are truly committed to the project or change.

[13:32] Deepening the practice and the pause before you take off.

[15:14] How there is always a journey and impactful people are always questioning how to take things to the next level.

[16:34] How Bri has been struggling because things are manifested in a physical form. She has a lot of different things going and that she is doing the job of 15 different people.
[17:33] How we often wait for external validation to say yes to our dreams. These things can happen, but they often don't. They only person that is going to give you permission to say yes to what you want in the world is you.

[18:53] Permission to Leap is about saying yes to yourself. By saying yes to yourself you are allowing the universe to step in and create what is within you.

[19:58] Choosing to leap or not, either way you need to choose a side or else create stagnation.
[21:19] How meditation is a practice and getting familiar with the different parts of yourself.
[23:40] How Bri can feel her intuition by getting to know the bits and pieces of herself.

[25:40] Alignment and the things that align to your old trajectory, may not align to your new trajectory. Some things will need to fall away and create space to come into existence.
[27:26] Taking a leap of faith and creating something out of nothing.
[28:10] How to find trust and faith when we aren't sure, by going back to whatever we have faith in right now.
[29:01] There is no right or wrong. Sometimes choosing a leap will turn into something else. 

[30:15] Asking what you have learned and moving forward or redefining the moment.
[32:17] Clarity and tapping into the energy of the future. You can get amazing energy and insights by using the energy of the future. Open up to a time and place where it has already happened and tap into that.
[33:54] Confirmation or that double check moment. This is when the universe makes sure that you are committed.
[38:02] How it is so hard to step towards the unknown future. The prior steps keep you moving.

[40:02] Inspired action, putting the pieces together, and taking the leap. It is an inspired action that comes from within.
[40:44] Bri asks what actions she should take each day to move towards her goals. She does the ones that scare her the most because they create the biggest impact.
[42:07] Do the things that make the most impact. Fear indicates an action will take you out of your comfort zone.
[42:57] Feedback. In order to stay aligned with your vision, you need to know how it is working, feeling, and creating impact. Move forward with the actions that work with feedback loops.

[45:20] Bring explains how to get advance copies digital copies of Permission to Leap. With a PDF version and free Kindle version.
[47:49] Stepping back and trusting that the book is done.
[50:25] Bri is writing the book to support and help people with saying yes to their visions.

 

Links and Resources:

How Co-creating With the Universe Works With Bri Seeley

Danielle La Porte

Inside Out

Advance Digital Copy of Permission to Leap

Bri Seeley

Bri Seeley facebook

Bri Seeley YouTube

@BriSeeley Twitter

Bri Seeley Instagram

Bri Seeley LinkedIn

Permission to Leap Podcast

Permission to Leap

Oct 29, 2017

I’d been traveling a ton, felt totally ungrounded and have numerous deadlines tightening their strangle holds on me. But of course, I have created all of this for myself.

My drive can often switch from passion driven, to obsessive, to self interested over the course of even a single day. The self interested part of me wants to prove to everyone- look how much I can do! Look how I can be what you want me to! Look how good I am! Aren’t I doing a good job??? — It’s like I’m a little girl, jumping up and down screaming, trying to get my parent’s attention to love me!

❣️And in the end, isn’t that what we are all trying to do in some ways? But the problem is, when that part of us takes over. When I’m not conscious, I start to take everything on and forget the wisdom of my body. And I’m tired. And it’s not working. I know it because I can feel the difference in what I create and who I am when I come from love and passion rather than this fear place of not being good enough.

✏️What I write feels true, rather than trying. What I say flows easily, rather than calculated. What do feels right, rather than forced. And when I choose it feels light rather than out of obligation or with resentment. It’s just that if I’m not careful, I fall back into my old patterns of Do-Do-Do, instead of just BE.

💡This might always be my hero’s journey. And so I’ve decided to intentionally slow down—to start each day giving intentional love to this part of me, and have faith that what I put out coming from this place will be exactly enough. #riskeveryday

Oct 23, 2017

Today’s guest is Dr. Sharad P. Paul. Dr. Paul is an expert in many areas, but today we talk about understanding our genes and using genetics to approach our health. Dr. Paul is a world renowned geneticist who has discovered how to tap into gene therapy to understand who we are, what makes us tick, and how to hack our genetics to become the best person possible.

Dr. Paul is also a skin cancer surgeon, a family physician, an academic skin care expert, an evolutionary biologist, and a storyteller who has not only written his new book The Genetics of Health, but he has written fiction too. Dr. Paul is a social entrepreneur and an adjunct professor at Auckland University of Technology. His accomplishments are so impressive, and he is such a passionate person that this is a great show.  

You can find Dr. Paul here:

The Genetics of Health
Dr. Sharad Paul
@DrSharadPaul Twitter
Dr. Sharad Paul facebook
GT21 Gene Test

Show Notes

[05:10] The age old question of nature versus nurture. How genes affect everything about us.
[06:08] How the Genetics of Health is about applying our genetics for health and wellness instead of just the treatment of disease.
[07:18] Song lines in aboriginal culture. All European cultures can be broken down to seven lines. How the number seven is popular in folklore of many cultures and science too.
[09:23] How there is a oneness to humanity, and how our health issues can be broken down into genetics.
[10:28] How there is high UV in the Southern Hemisphere and people of Celtic descent weren't designed to live in these sunny areas.
[11:08] Lactose intolerance in different cultures and the trends of what people should be eating according to their DNA.
[12:46] Genome sequencing tests for diseases that there aren't treatments for. The stress could affect health.
[13:13] Microbiol test to see what you should be eating.
[13:22] Dr. Paul's test is saliva based and it focuses on diet and exercise and vitamins not disease. It's all about prevention and wellness.
[14:50] How everyone is born with a certain genetic profile. 
[15:19] In the past science thought some DNA was junk DNA, but now they know that is not true.
[15:42] Genes get transmitted down generations. The job of a gene is to make proteins. They make beneficial and harmful proteins.
[16:34] We have control over the concentration of the enzymes is what makes the difference between a gene creating good or bad proteins. 
[17:15] Chemicals in the womb, can affect our genes. Once we are born we are exposed to an external and internal environment.
[18:17] Understanding what environmental factors have affected your genes give you an opportunity to work on that.
[18:54] Relationships can have a bearing on our genetic environment.
[19:30] People always want to look younger. The same genes implicated in aging are the same ones in disease and stress. So things shouldn't be looked at in isolation.
[20:23] Today our climate and environment and food are the biggest factors on our genes.
[21:27] How junk food makes people and mice angry, fat, and stressed. We need to put a good environment in our body. The less processed stuff the better.
[22:46] How most vitamin C capsules get excreted. The natural form makes more of a difference. Eating more fruit is better than taking more supplements.
[25:37] Everything in moderation. Avoid processed foods and products. Eat food in the most natural form. 
[26:44] How we started eating processed foods in the last 100 years. The world is increasingly processed. We need to take charge of our own lives and be authentic in our environments.
[28:13] All we can control is our internal environment and avoid being in polluted places.
[30:47] Environmental change can be a massive part of health implications down the road. In destroying your environment, you are destroying yourself.
[33:44] The lazy gene or sluggish gene in mice was corrected when they started running and doing mice endurance training. In the beginning things can be hard, but once you do it, it is not that bad.
[35:24] Procrastination is a finely tuned evolutionary thing. People who were the most stressed and scared survived.
[36:17] Fitness in biology means ability to propagate a gene.
[37:19] How it is detrimental to our health to get stressed. There are no more saber toothed tigers. 
[38:01] The myth of race and what it means. How apes have pink skin and polar bears have black skin. Evolution is about the fitness of the population. We need folic acid to reproduce. Skin darkens to protect folic acid in our systems.
[40:13] There is a battle between vitamin D and Folic Acid going on in our bodies. All of us are the same, changes happened according to where we are from and what we ate.
[43:50] Dr. Paul is a creator because it creates curiosity and makes people better in math and science. Being creative you set the context, develop the characters, and there will always be conflict. Being creative can be a problem solving approach.
[47:49]  How we all need to take a step back and think about what unites us and not divides us. This is our only chance on life as what we are. If we follow our passion, we can automatically create good stuff.

Links and Resources:

Kristy’s Facebook Page

The Myth of Race Dr. Sharad P. Paul TEDxAuckland

Dr. Sharad Paul on Mind Body Green

The Genetics of Health

Dr. Sharad Paul

@DrSharadPaul Twitter

Dr. Sharad Paul facebook

GT21 Gene Test

Oct 20, 2017

Today, I want to talk about an incredible and powerfully impactful social movement. That is riding on the courage of many women. Last week the story broke out about several women accusing Harvey Weinstein of sexual misconduct. This is such a big deal. Especially, with the number of women that have spoken out and the large time span over which the occurrences happened.

Harvey WeinStein is a huge and powerful Hollywood figure. He is a film producer who in 1979 cofounded Miramax with his brother. Miramax has produced many popular films like Pulp Fiction. Harvey has won academy awards for producing Shakespeare in Love and Tony awards for The Producers and Billy Elliot the Musical. He is a massively powerful person in Hollywood.

The questions that so many people have been asking in the face of these accusations are how come it took so long for people to come out with this information and why is this just coming out now? He has been in the industry for decades. People are really looking at the power dynamic. Many actresses were afraid of coming out with these accusations and being blacklisted. Even men weren’t sure how to stand up against this. Now that the accusations are out, many people are banding together and saying, “me too”.

Show Notes

[03:32] How Alyssa Milano tweeted "me too" and how thousands of women are joining in with their own stories with the hashtag #MeToo.
[03:48] How we are holding shame for these things that are hard to talk about, yet people are being met with love and kindness.
[04:37] There has been some conversation that we are shaming men by telling our story. These conversations can be had without shaming men. That is not going to further the conversation.
[05:40] We need to share what we have experienced and share raw, honest experience of what it feels like to be run over and assaulted.
[05:36] We need to say here is what I experienced and bring real authentic, honest and raw pain of how it feels to be passed over, run over, assaulted, and cat called.
[06:16] In so many ways, men have been conditioned, so it is important for us to share in a way that is real for them. Now men are sharing #ItWasMe stories.
[07:18] Men have been sharing how some of their actions were conscious and this is coming from women sharing in a vulnerable way.
[07:23] Men can hear and choose differently and give themselves permission to have been wrong and choose differently.
[07:48] Justin Bonomo wrote an incredible post that gave Kristy a deeper sense of empathy for what men go through.
[09:30] Justin's message to women and how he vows to be an ally going forward.
[10:09] As women, let's share our stories and call forth the best in men instead of making them wrong.
[10:52] As a woman in the male dominated poker field, I have experienced slights and harassment, but I want to take the opportunity to acknowledge men in a positive way and recognize behavior and the power that men have and the wonderful ways in which they contribute.
[12:50] We need to teach men respect and kindness and not to get physical with a woman.
[13:11] Physical violence is never acceptable. The more we take action on that it will show that it is not okay.
[14:33] Kristy shares how she drank too much and was laying down and a guy came in the room, but another guy stopped him from whatever he was up too.
[15:43] This person had the best parents and they were great people. Thank you for watching out for me.
[16:17] I had the best high school sweetheart and she still cares about him today and hopes he does well and is happy.
[17:07] In college, I drank a lot. Fortunately, I was in situations where I was surrounded by great men who didn't take advantage of me. I am really grateful for these men.
[18:48] To the wonderful amazing incredible men who are protectors of women. Thank you.
[19:45] Your love needs to be seen and heard, and you don't need to be lumped in with men who are treating women poorly.
[20:14] No woman deserves to be touched inappropriately. Women deserve to be cared for.
[20:39] Women should also be mindful of their situations and drinks and alcohol and create space and boundaries and have responsibility on both sides.

Links and Resources:

 

Oct 16, 2017

While recording today’s interview, I realized that this episode has the perfect message for millennials. So many of you are wondering what to do with your life and your career. Most of you want to find a purpose and make a difference. My guest today is a very successful man who has the perfect message for today’s episode. Mark Howley is the CEO of Pacific Bag Inc. which is an award winning 30 million dollar packaging company with more than 5000 clients.

Mark has also launched an encore career as a professional speaker, and he really loves inspiring young people. His message is especially applicable if you are in a job that isn’t quite right for you. Mark specializes in finding the silver lining in your job and using it to find a career that is fulfilling. He speaks from experience because he has had some difficult times in his past, yet he decided to take the high road and use his experience to grow and help others. Mark not only created a successful business and a successful family, but he found purpose by leading young people through sharing his message. In this episode, Mark shares his story and message with us.

You can find Mark here:

MVH Speaking
MVH Speaking on Facebook
Pacific Bag
Pacific Bag on Facebook
Pacific Bag on Twitter @pacificbag

 

Show Notes

[04:00] Mark shares his story from when he was young and life was fun. He was partying too much. He had a craving to chase something.
[05:54] Mark's mother was diagnosed with cancer, and Mark was drinking and doing drugs. He knew he had to stop. Everything seemed glum and he was taking one bad turn after another.
[07:55] He went to rehab and it felt humiliating and his friends didn't support it.  
[13:15] How Mark realized that his negative thoughts weren't serving him.
[14:58] He was able to shift his mindset to work hard and make things better. He knew being the best he could be would make him feel better about himself. 
[17:04] Mark found outside sources such as books and exercise to keep him focused and engaged with what he was doing.
[14:58] He was able to shift his mindset to work hard and make things better. He knew being the best he could be would make him feel better about himself.
[17:04] Mark found outside sources such as books and exercise to keep him focused and engaged with what he was doing.
[19:51] Mark became curious and finding out the details of his bag business became interesting. He decided to accept where he was and do the best he could.
[21:42] How at a point Mark became ready to grow and further himself in the industry he was in.
[25:48] How Mark's top-earning sales representative started as a personal assistant gopher type position for Mark 14 years ago.
[27:12] Standing out by having a willingness to learn. Hiring is more about values and character than experience.
[28:07] Mark shares the importance of work ethic and taking pride in things we complete. It's not bad to say, "I don't know".
[30:06] How Mark doesn't think that the millennials are any different than any generation.
[33:54] How millennials want to make a difference and are more open about reaching out for help if needed.
[36:11] How it is an honor for Mark to focus on his family.
[36:42] How Mark quit his job and started working for Pacific Bag and finally became where he is now.  
[37:56] Mark's success wouldn't have happened if he hadn't learned all of his previous lessons. When something good happens, you need to be ready.
[39:15] Focusing on the beauty of things and learning and doing while finding your true path.
[40:27] Be humble and your day will come.

 

Links and Resources:

Mark Howley on Onward Nation
MVH Speaking
MVH Speaking on Facebook
Pacific Bag
Pacific Bag on Facebook
Pacific Bag on Twitter @pacificbag

 

Oct 12, 2017

Today’s Episode:

Welcome to Risk Everyday which is part of the WTF podcast. I am your host Kristy Arnett. For those of you just joining this podcast, my mission in the world is to be an inspiration who empowers people to create the lives they want. The thing that stands between what we want and have is fear. We move past fear by taking risks. If you are taking risks to get the life that you want please join us on social media and post with the hashtag #RiskEveryday.

Today, I am going to talk about a moment that I have been avoiding talking about, but I think it is time. After recording the episode with Suki Sohn where she became so vulnerable and overcame a heartbreak that took her to rock bottom, inspired me to share my story. Regular listeners know about my life experience with my husband and our healing from infidelity. Things are so great now, and I am so grateful for what we have been through.

It’s time for me to talk about healing and the tangible parts of moving forward during that time, and what I learned moving through it. If you are experiencing heartbreak currently, I want this podcast to be a place that you can lean on and come back to when you need help. I have been procrastinating the sharing of this part of my life, but you guys are my tribe and I want to share with you and inspire you. I hope my truth makes an impact.  

 

Show Notes

[05:15] Almost four years ago, I found out my husband had a short affair for a couple of weeks. We had been married about 3 years at the time.
[05:53] I knew things weren't great, and that we had been fighting and that he felt depressed and disconnected. We weren't really on the same page. I never thought it would lead to possible divorce.
[07:23] I was devastated when I found out. Heartbreak can be shocking. When it sets in the grief, sadness, and stress can be overwhelming.
[08:05] Fortunately, I had a session scheduled with relationship coach Aaron Steinberg. I already knew I needed to speak with someone and had already had the call scheduled.
[08:54] The whole conversation was a blur except for the end of the call. No matter what make sure that you take care of yourself. Aaron ended the call with these simple words. I knew this came from a place of caring and love.
[10:08] First and foremost, take care of yourself. Whatever that means to you.
[10:40] For me, taking care of myself was eating. I was just so stressed that eating didn't feel like an option. So, I got a green juice. I also needed to try to sleep.
[12:27] Every time I had a terrible feeling I would hear the voice say take care of yourself. I was also reluctant to lean on anyone, but this is the time it is important to give yourself permission to ask for help.
[13:36] Sarah had snacks and wine waiting for me. I couldn't ask for a better person to be with me at that time. I also drank a lot of wine.
[14:32] How it is tempting to drink during these rough times, but it is important to keep in mind that alcohol is a depressant and it can exacerbate the depression.
[16:03] A part of me saw the beauty of leaning on a friend.
[17:05] Sarah also did my makeup and wanted to make me feel beautiful.
[18:05] I had rage, stress, anxiety, and neediness. Sarah was wise enough to tell me that going out that night was a bad idea.
[20:00] Even when you are going through the worst of it, ask yourself what you really want. Let that want guide you when you are weak.
[22:02] I knew I could fight for my marriage coming from a clean place. Part of healing was sleeping in the den on a spare mattress.
[24:27] I was lying there and saw light shining on a photo of Andrew and me laughing. What am I doing on the floor in the den? I realized we were both trying together.
[26:22] I latched onto the ribbon of beauty and allowed it to expand and heal parts of me.
[27:38] Find the beauty and let it carry you during the darkest time, and let it expand when you can.
[28:52] Take care of yourself, make decisions based on what you really want, and find the beauty.
[29:53] I wake up everyday grateful that both of us went through this heartbreak.

 

Links and Resources:

How to Heal from Heartbreak with Suki Sohn
Episode 00: Premiere of the Wtf Am I Doing With My Life Podcast!
How and Why We Saved Our Marriage
Why Fighting With Your Significant Other Is Actually Great with Aaron Steinberg
Sarah Herring @AuntyChardonnay

 

Oct 9, 2017

Today's guest is Suki Sohn. She is a transformational and leadership coach that started her journey over a decade ago after her divorce left her physically and emotionally depleted. She shares her story in such a beautiful and vulnerable way that I know you guys will connect with it. She is the author of Happily Ever After: 8 Principles from Ancient Esoteric Traditions and Neuroscience to Healing a Broken Heart. Her message is so relevant today.

At the beginning of Suki’s journey she found herself with chronic back pain, insomnia, migraines, and depression. After MRIs, CT scans, and Western medical approaches didn’t provide long term solutions, she turned to holistic mind-body-spirit practices. She began to study many esoteric and spiritual paths and became in tune with the subtle energies that influence our daily lives. Suki now uses various timeless energy modalities to help clients reclaim and optimize their emotional, mental, and physical well-being.

Prior to Suki’s coaching journey, she worked in finance and media with Fortune 100 companies such as the Walt Disney Company, News Corporation, Lehman Brothers, and Fortress Investment Group. She lives in Irvington, NY with her husband John O'Connor and two sons. In this episode, Suki shares her journey of finding her true self and healing her heart. This is a great time for all of us to learn how to heal because in some way we all have a broken heart.

You can find Suki here:

Suki Sohn
Suki Sohn on Facebook
Contact@SukiSohn.com
Happily Ever After: 8 Principles from Ancient Esoteric Traditions and Neuroscience to Healing a Broken Heart
Suki Sohn on Twitter @sukinyc
Suki Sohn on LinkedIn
Suki Sohn on Instagram @SukiSohn

Show Notes

[06:33] Suki loves being in nature, trees, her husband, her children, and working with her clients. She is inspired by all of the joy that can be found in life.
[07:54] The importance of gaining perspective and how one person can be grateful for an experience whereas another person can be miserable from the same experience.
[08:33] How by doing the really deep work, we are able to actually come through and see the beauty in all experiences.
[08:56] Suki had a lot of WTF moments in her life. She began with a cool job working for Disney and had a hunky husband and a new baby boy. Yet, there were some relationship issues that they were pretending weren't there. Then she discovered that her husband was having an affair.
[10:03] How after this discovery, everything seemed meaningless to Suki. Suki and her husband went to couples counseling for about a year, but she discovered that her husband never stopped seeing the other woman.
[10:53] At the time Suki was living in Hong Kong, but quit her job and took her baby and moved to New York. How everything that matters suddenly doesn't matter anymore.
[11:52] Suki felt like she had lost her identity. This was not only the obliteration of her dreams but also of who she was.
[12:37] She wondered who she was and what was next for her?
[13:08] She began dating with the intention of just having fun. She started dating which ended up being a three-year-long relationship that ended in infidelity, and she got pregnant towards the end of the relationship.
[14:19] Suki had very hard time and terminated the pregnancy. She felt like she had hit rock bottom.
[15:40] She didn't have a spiritual practice and had no perspective on what was going on.
[16:10] How the catalyst of her journey began with trying to find a reason for all of these experiences.
[16:21] Suki had a couple glimpses of hope. She looked out into the stars and felt that everything would be okay. She also took a trip to Sedona and sat in meditation and said a prayer of hope and dreams and was immediately greeted with a gush of wind in her face.
[18:26] Kristy shares a moment when she was outside in the warmth of the sun and something just told her that things would be okay. Following and being open to these moments.
[19:23] Being vulnerable enough to hear the presence of the divine.
[20:02] Suki became open to learning about self-help and spirituality after the Sedona trip. It was the beginning of trying to figure out the unseen world. She dabbled in everything and gathered certificate after certificate.
[21:37] How all of these events told Suki where her soul needed to go.
[23:33] Suki started losing hope and thought she may never find love again. She continued doing the inner work she needed. She met her husband during this time, but they didn't get married for two years.
[24:41] Do we really know what we want? We think we know, but is that what we really want. Find things that will make you happy like compassion, understanding and a willingness to grow. Find a Mr. Right that comes from the soul.
[26:17] Attraction, lust, and passionate sex can trick us into thinking something is love that can last. If the foundation is shaky things won't last.
[27:00] Ask what kind of person do you want holding your hand 50 years from now.
[27:26] In order to attract the right relationship, you have to take your own garbage out first.
[28:18] Finding negative belief patterns that bring about the wrong type of person and ghosts from the past. We get what we believe. We find what we seek.
[29:31] Meditation and muscle testing can be used to get into the subconscious mind. Finding beliefs buried in the subconscious.
[32:28] How Suki had to let go of her critical judgments went she met her current husband. She had to surrender to how her soul felt.
[33:33] Suki went on a vision quest where she went into the desert fasting to find her gifts. It rained for three days straight. On the third day, the sun broke through and she heard the words shadow cat moon dancer. This means to help people through the dark night of their soul.
[35:31] Your life purpose is not something that you can achieve in the next year. It's up to us to manifest our gifts.
[37:00] How Suki is living out her spiritual name Shadow Cat Moon Dancer.
[38:55] Defining who we really are through our beliefs. Getting to know your true beliefs at the deepest soul level.
[40:26] How many women don't have clear boundaries. Boundaries come from knowing what your contribution to society is. Being grounded and having self-respect and self-esteem.
[42:12] How coaching is a great way to guide people in this quest. Suki believes that a great coach is a guide who allows the client to unfold.
[44:22] Having a partner who is always willing to grow and evolve and working at it constantly.
[45:15] Work on yourself first. If you transform and change and approach things with gentle femininity your partner will take notice.
[50:41] Suki aims to be a lighthouse that helps people through the dark night of their soul.

Links and Resources:

Rumi
8 Weeks to Magnetic
Feminine Leadership Academy
Suki Sohn
Suki Sohn on Facebook
Contact@SukiSohn.com
Happily Ever After: 8 Principles from Ancient Esoteric Traditions and Neuroscience to Healing a Broken Heart
Suki Sohn on Twitter @sukinyc
Suki Sohn on LinkedIn
Suki Sohn on Instagram @SukiSohn

Oct 4, 2017

In the world of coaching and personal development, there are legends in the game. The kind of people that have been around long enough to be the go-to person of the industry. On today’s podcast, I talk to one of these legends. Robert Kandell is a writer, teacher, coach, and lecturer. Since 2002, Robert has been on the forefront of transformational relationship work.

Robert is the co-founder of OneTaste a lifestyle and wellness company that provides courses, mindfulness practices, and Orgasmic Meditation. The goal is to improve wellbeing, focus, emotional intelligence, connection and fulfillment. OneTaste has been featured on The Today Show, New York Times, Inc. Magazine, Time, and Cosmopolitan. Robert is also the host of the Tuff Love Podcast where he answers questions about life and love.

On Robert’s podcast he actually gives out tough love advice and speaks openly about the topics that he has mastered over the course of his work. On today’s show, we are going to address men and male conditioning and what life is like for the modern male. Robert is in the process of writing his new book called “Living unHIDDEN: A New Book for Men”. You can support his book through his Indiegogo campaign. Robert speaks the truth about the place for men and how women can get a better understanding.

You can find Robert here:

Tuff Love Podcast
OneTaste
Indiegogo Campaign
Tuff Love on iTunes
Robert@KandellConsulting.com
Kandell Consulting
Robert on Facebook
Robert on Twitter @RobertKandell

Show Notes

[04:54] Robert has always been passionate about what he believes in, and he has always been a creator.
[05:59] Unhidden is about bringing what is inside out. Everything even those things that you are embarrassed about. Find a place to live unhidden, so people can see who you are.
[07:25] How it is so confusing to understand what is wanted from men. The pressure from social media has also contributed to this confusion.
[08:21] On Robert's first workshop on sexuality, he made his wife cry which woke Robert up to his blind spots.
[09:33] Robert began taking self-development courses and started OneTaste to bring conscious sexuality into the world through Orgasmic Meditation.
[10:21] After 10 years, he left OneTaste in 2014 and moved to Venice Beach and started life coaching and podcasting.
[11:51] Sex is a form of communication and people can take different connotations from that. Men think everything is okay because they are having sex. Women can have sex as a way to look for intimacy. Men and women look at sexuality quite differently.
[13:03] How sex is the smoke you can follow to find out what is truly going on in a relationship.
[13:46] When people are afraid to communicate they put a blanket over their sexuality.
[15:48] Looking at your motivations for not speaking up and how you were educated by unconscious lessons.
[16:32] Finding the reason why women may not speak up in bed. Working with a partner to come up with a way to communicate what you want. Talk about things before or after an experience by creating a partnership and a team for pleasure.
[18:26] Giving permission to be human. Approval and reflection and not holding stuff in.
[21:19] Saying what you feel and talking about it. Being open to share and talk.
[22:10] Poor communication is one of the things that Robert hates to see. He loves the moment when someone feels accepted for a thought they thought would be undesirable. The acceptance makes people feel less alone.
[24:05] Most men speak in masculine language with a goal to produce. Most women speak in feminine language for emotion and intimacy.
[25:33] Women would prefer their feelings acknowledged and men want to fix things.
[25:53] How disagreements can occur when people have different relationships to the baseline of facts.
[26:47] If you don't know what the other person's expectations are a lot of conflicts can occur.
[29:48] How women don't think that men want to please them. Men get pride from their production. Women get pride from their attractiveness. When a woman doesn't approve of what a man does she is insulting his desire to produce. Thank you's are a huge thing to guys.
[31:14] This is a tough time for guys. Things like Tinder and free porn have had an effect on the men and there is a lot of confusion.
[33:28] Women are no longer dependent on men, but men are used to women depending on them. This might help relate to men in a more clear way.
[35:01] Robert taught over 400 workshops at OneTaste, and he loves teaching. His podcast gives him a platform to make a positive impact. It's a live show with a 20-minute rant on a topic and then a 20 minute live coaching call.
[37:36] Robert's favorite shows are when he talks about his own vulnerability and bring out the emotion inside of him.
[39:26] Robert's biggest breakthrough was learning how sneaky he can be and how it impacts his life. By being honest he was able to connect more.
[41:52] Robert's strategic plan is to write his book proposal and find an agent or self-publish. Then he will use the book as a platform for his speaking career.
[43:27] Robert wants to be remembered as an example of the power of honesty.

Links and Resources:

Kristy@KristyArnett.com
Tuff Love Podcast
OneTaste
Indiegogo campaign
Tuff Love on iTunes
Henry Rollins
Eckhart Tolle
David Deida
Rene Brown
Robert@KandellConsulting.com
Kandell Consulting
Robert on Facebook
Robert on Twitter @RobertKandell

 

Oct 3, 2017

I feel so angry, hurt and confused by the horrifying mass murder that occurred last night in Las Vegas. More than 50 beautiful people, who went out for night of fun, love and country music, are now dead. These are individuals that never expected this would be their last day. They all have ambitions they’ll never have the opportunity to follow and loved ones that never got to say goodbye.

They were shot down by someone with multiple assault rifles from the 32nd floor of the Mandalay bay. Hundreds more were injured.

One of my best friends was there. He ran for his life and saw so many people shot. I still don’t know if all my friends and family are safe. 

Las Vegas is my fucking city. The fear makes me want to spew hate and anger towards people who have beliefs that I think contribute to this happening. The fear makes me want to hide. The fear and anger inside me makes me want to know who the fucking perpetrator is to find out why he did it. It feels like I need answers because I want to be able to say, “This won’t happen again.” 

But in this, I get to take responsibility for my choices. I choose not to know or say the shooter’s name. I choose to take action where possible. I choose to speak with passion and compassion. I choose to focus on the good— like the first responders. Like the heroes who carried the wounded to safety. Like the victims at the concert who threw themselves on top of their loved ones to protect them from bullets.

We all get to choose. Perhaps you have had certain held beliefs about guns, mental health, politics, terrorism, police, security. To you I ask, can we choose to be willing to be wrong? Can we speak in a way that the other can hear us? Can we come together and make a fucking difference in the name of all those lost their opportunity to last night? I urge us all not to get stuck in fear and anger. Separation and hate will only move us backwards. Unity and love will give us a chance to move forward. 

Who you are, the choices you make and the words you choose are never neutral. You are either contributing to more hate or more love. 

You choose.

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